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google voice is funny

March 3, 2011 in tech support thursday with 0 Comments

Happy Thursday everyone, and that means another Tech Support Thursday.

Google Voice is an amazing service that allows you to do many things, among them free text messaging, one phone number that can forward to all of the phones you own, and Voicemail Transcription (the funny part).

Usually Google Voice does a decent job of transcription, but sometimes it is soooo bad, its funny. Every once and a while I will post some of the particularly bad, funny, transcriptions, and we’ll see if you think they’re as funny as I do. I won’t divulge who it is or the context, because, hey, then it might actually make sense.

VM #1:

Hey buddy were looking at getting a new computer for the church first I was. And it would be a yeah yeah yeah while. Just wanna blank. It would be a Mac Yeah, so it would run windows and all that stuff, just, yeah desktop We’re wanting to get one that runs in those first in the media shout. Yeah I know you’re kind of a computer guy, so I thought I’d call and pick your brain and see if you do some good website. Your place is to get a good deal, give me a call back when you get this. They were boarding Sunday, so was hoping to visit with you today if I could. If not, then just let me know.

VM #2

Far as far as far as far as Isaiah. You are once again. Screening your calls and I was just giving you a said, Yeah. That Stuart. If you are forgive us live with us in. Richard Fran, Well possessive you so much fun and just want to give you heads up on it, so prepare for, just to meet master. Talk to you Later. Bye Bye.

VM #3

Hi, Well, I guess. I’m using an atomic I’ll do. I have forgot that he was. Thank You. So. They’re Rose. R. Hello. I guess you guys bye bye. The 7th so that you’ll probably be here between 5 and 6 So. I have that needs needs in or not. I guess that’s it. Bye bye. Well, anyway. I just want to tell you that I’ll talk to you later. Bye.

What do you think? Should I keep doing Google Voice posts?

Thanks,

Isaiah

 

search results = awesome

February 24, 2011 in tech support thursday with 0 Comments

For Today’s Tech Support Thursday, I wanted to share a few of the google search results that have brought people to this odd little corner of the internet. I think these are some awesome searches… so check them out.

#1 - be rejoice when you are hungry time is come that you be feelup

First of all, I have no idea what this person was searching for… and apparently Google had no idea either, because they sent them to me. What does feelup mean? In fact, I just searched for this, and unless my blog is on the 13th or past page, I don’t even see how they could’ve found me. Someone’s tenacious in their searching… sadly I don’t think they left fulfilled.

#2 - can i unplug electric outlet on router for a few seconds?

This one makes total sense, as I’ve said this several times through the Tech Support Thursday series, as well as having a whole series of posts about Unplugging and plugging it back in (also see #2 and #3).

Oh, and don’t forget to check out my special Tech Support Thursday post over at Ricky Anderson’s blog, that was posted on Tuesday.  Check out ”Oh my gosh!”

Have a great Thursday,

in Christ,

Isaiah

oh my gosh – my guest post, posted

February 22, 2011 in guestpost, tech support thursday with 0 Comments

I’ve got a special Tech Support Thursday post over at Ricky Anderson’s blog. And yes, I know it is Tuesday.

Check out “Oh my gosh!”

Special thanks to Ricky for allowing me to guest post on his blog, and in case you missed it, here’s his guest post for my blog.

While you’re there, stop and read some of his Network Administrator Diaries, especially if you enjoy Tech Support Thursdays.

What are you still doing here? Go check out that post!

No screen time

February 17, 2011 in tech support thursday with 4 Comments

Today’s Tech Support Thursday is more like Tech Thursday.

How many of you are constantly on Facebook, or a computer or news sites, or Google Reader?

How many of you think you remember as well as you used to?

Well… I sure don’t. For some time I’ve been noticing that my memory isn’t what it used to be. During college I could memorize and retain information merely by reading the information once. Now I struggle to recall information that I read 30 minutes ago.

This is partly, I think, because of my news/data junky habit. I fill my mind with so much information, that my brain has a hard time remembering each thing. Then I read this article:

Digital diversions often fill much of the downtime in our lives, whether it’s listening to iPods on the treadmill, surfing YouTube videos on a lunch break or maintaining a vigilant lookout for new texts or e-mails on our smartphones. But researchers at the University of California, San Francisco are discovering that those habits may keep our brains from necessary rest and ultimately hinder creativity and learning. “Almost certainly, downtime lets the brain go over experiences it’s had, solidify them and turn them into permanent long-term memories,” says Loren Frank, a University of California, San Francisco assistant professor in the department of physiology. When brains are constantly engaged, “you prevent this learning process.” University of Michigan neuroscientist Marc Berman adds, “People think they’re refreshing themselves [with digital diversions], but they’re fatiguing themselves.” [nytimes.com, 8/24/10]

Shudder. I’m preventing the learning process within my brain, but constantly having information fed in to it. This isn’t just some New York Times writer, or University of California/Michigan professor saying this… I’m experiencing it!

So, I’m going to try to practice “No Screen Time.”

No Screen Time means 1 hour before sleeping, I will stop using screens, stop multi-tasking on data. No tv, macbook or phone.

Instead, I’ll just read the Bible before bed. I’m not going to lie to you, for a few days this is going to be extremely tough. I’m used to reading until I’m exhausted or writing posts while watching tv.

But I think this will be for the best.

What do you think?

Are you remembering things as well as you used to?

Do you need to set aside time with no screens?

Do you need to stop multitasking?

Tell me your ideas.

unplug and plug it back in #3

February 10, 2011 in tech support thursday with 1 Comment

Today for Tech Support Thursday we’re have have another post from the “unplug and plug it back in” series.

Today’s post:

The person who thinks he/she knows a lot about technology… but, well, doesn’t.

Me: “Tech Support, my name is Isaiah, how may I help you?”

Caller: “My internet isn’t working.”

Me: “Ok, let’s check a few things out. It appears that you have a wireless connection with us.”

Caller: “Yes, yes I do.”

Me: “Awesome, I’m going to need  you to powercycle the radio. Can you unplug that from the power and plug it back in after 30 seconds?”

Caller: “I already did that.”

Me: “Ok, well, I’m going to need you to try that again.”

Caller: [agitated] “Look, I already did that, I’m not going to do it again.”

Me: “Ok, ok. I’m sorry. Alright.” [thinking: How can I get him to unplug it without outright lying to him? - IDEA!!!!] “I’m going to do a test on the radio.”

Caller: “Ok, good.”

Me: “I’m doing a ping test to check to see if the radio is connecting properly.”

Caller: “Good, good.”

Me: “Alright, now, in order to finish this test, I’m going to need you to unplug your radio from the power. By that I mean completely unplug the a/c adapter from the surge protector.”

Caller: “Ok, sure, I can do that. You want me to wait, what, 30 seconds?”

Me: “Perfect!” [I watch the radio go down]

Caller: [20 seconds elapse] “Can I plug it back in now?”

Me: “Yes, that would be great.” [radio comes back up] “I see the radio is responding properly now, can you try to get on the internet?”

Caller: “Yes, oh great, thanks!”

Me: [thinking - Imagine that, it works now that you did what I wanted you to do in the first place.] “No problem, thank you for calling. Have a great day!”

unplug and plug it back in #2

February 3, 2011 in tech support thursday with 4 Comments

Here’s the video I promised. The video is from the IT Crowd – a British television show that began as a series about the IT department – now it’s more about the characters than IT stuff… but anyway.

This is a clip from Episode 1, Season 1.

I love that – “Have you tried turning it off an on again?”

unplug and plug it back in #1

January 27, 2011 in tech support thursday with 4 Comments

One of the most enduring memories of my tech support time comes in variations on this phrase – “Please unplug *item* from the power for about 30 seconds, then plug it back in.”

Depending on the person, you’d have to say it in different ways.  Today I’ll start with the Very Non-Technical person.

Me: “Tech Support, my name is Isaiah, how may I help you?”

Caller: “My internet isn’t working.”

Me: “Ok, let’s check a few things out. It appears that you have a dsl connection. Give me a minute to run some tests. [check to see if the modem is trained up - it is] Well, it appears that your modem is working fine. I see that you have a Linksys router from us, right?”

Caller: “A what?”

Me: “I see on your account that you have a wireless router from us. Can you unplug that from the power and plug it back in after 30 seconds?”

Caller: “I don’t… I don’t even know what you mean.”

Me: “No problem. Do you see a blue box with antennas sticking out of it?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Ok, could you please unplug that blue box with antennas from the power outlet on your wall.”

Caller: “What do you mean power outlet?”

Me: “The little blue box will have a wire that goes to the power outlet, like your electrical outlet.”

Caller: “Oh, Ok. [unplugs something] Do you want me to plug it back in now?”

Me: “Just to be sure, are there lights still on the blue box?”

Caller: “Let me check. [checks] Yes.”

Me: “Alright, let’s plug that cable back in and try unplugging the little round barrel-type plug on the back of the Linksys – er blue box.”

Caller: “Oh, ok. [unplugs something] The lights went off! Should I plug it back in now?”

Me: “Let’s wait about 30 seconds before we plug it back in.”

Caller: “Ok. [five seconds later] Should I plug it in now?”

Me: “Just a few more seconds, I’ll tell you when it needs to go back in.”

Caller: “Ok.”

Me: [twenty-five seconds later] “Alright, go ahead and plug it back in.”

Caller: “Ok.”

Me: “Can you check your internet to see if its working?”

Caller: “It is working! Thank you! I’ll remember to unplug the Linksky next time.”

Me: [mentally sighing - it's a Linksys, not Linksky] – “Alright, thank you for calling Tech Support. Have a great day!”

Over the next few weeks, I’ll have a few more with the other users I encountered. You’ll also have the enjoyment of a video (yay!).

Have a great Tech Support Thursday.

turning it on – a guest post

January 20, 2011 in guestpost, tech support thursday with 2 Comments

Today you have the opportunity to read a guest post from Ricky Anderson. His blog is very funny, and if you enjoy Tech Support Thursdays, you’ll definitely enjoy his blog. He offered to guest post during a hard week for me, and boy do I appreciate it.

Without any further ado:

Turning It On

by Ricky Anderson

User:  My laptop won’t turn on.

Me:  Ok, is the battery charged?

User:  Should be.  Either way, it’s plugged in.

Me:  Ok, and nothing happened when you hit the power button to turn it on?  Or did it try to boot and then stop?

User:  Wait a minute.  I have to push a button to turn it on?

Me:  *Choking on my coffee*  Yes, you have to push the power button.  It’s the big one above your keyboard with the power symbol on it.

User:  Oh, I thought I just had to open the lid.  I’ll try the button, hold on.  [pause] It worked!

Me:  How did you get to work this morning?

User:  What do you mean?

Me:  Well, did your engine start when you opened your door?

User:  No, why would it do that?

Me:  You tell me!

And yes… this is a true story.

Thanks Ricky!

the start button!

January 13, 2011 in tech support thursday with 5 Comments

As I was trying to delve into the mine of my memories for today’s Tech Support Thursday, I couldn’t help but laugh.  You see, I had a co-worker who always seemed to get the customers who were hearing impaired.  Well, you’ll see.  Here’s a recreation of a memory, inserting my estimation of what the caller said, as I have no idea.

Co-worker: “*ISP Name* Tech Support, my name is *Co-worker*, how may I help you?”

Caller: “What’d you say, I can’t hear you?”

Co-worker: “My name is *Co-worker*, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Your name is what?”

Co-worker: “My name is *Co-worker*

Caller: “I can’t hear you.”

Co-worker: [yelling, hence the capitals] “HOW MAY I HELP YOU?”

Caller: “Oh, I can hear you a little better.  I’m not able to connect to the internet”

Co-worker: “OK, is your computer running windows?”

Caller: “What?”

Co-worker: “IS YOUR COMPUTER RUNNING WINDOWS?”

Caller: “What?  My computer won’t connect, my window is fine.”

Co-worker: “NO, IS YOUR COMPUTER RUNNING WINDOWS?”

Caller: “Oh… well, I think so.”

Co-worker: “OK.  Do you see a start button in the bottom left-hand corner?”

Caller: “What?  I can’t hear you.”

Co-worker: “DO YOU SEE THE START BUTTON IN THE BOTTOM LEFT-HAND CORNER?”

Caller: “There’s a big blue button on my screen.”

Co-worker: “NO, THE START BUTTON, IT SAYS START ON IT, ON YOUR SCREEN!”

Caller: “I don’t, I don’t understand.”

Co-worker: “THE START BUTTON!”

[at this point I'm having to mute the call I'm on whenever I'm not talking because my caller is asking, "What's that noise in the background?  Is someone yelling?"]

Caller: “Where is it?”

Co-worker: “THE START BUTTON IS IN THE BOTTOM-LEFT HAND CORNER.”

Caller: “I don’t see it.”

Co-worker: “You know what…”

Caller: “What?  I can’t hear you.”

Co-worker: “IF YOU CAN’T FIND THE START BUTTON, I’M NOT SURE HOW TO HELP YOU!”

Caller: “Well, I’m not sure what you said, but I have to go.  I’ll call back in later.”

Co-worker: “Ok, thank you for… THANK YOU FOR CALLING *ISP NAME* TECH SUPPORT. HAVE A GREAT DAY.”

[to everyone in the office] – “That lady was deaf!” [laughs]

Me: “We know, we all heard!” [laughing]

Good times, good times.

it’s a conspiracy!

January 6, 2011 in tech support thursday with 0 Comments

A whole new Tech Support Thursday today, which means another story from my tech support days!  Today’s Title:

It’s a conspiracy!

Me – “*ISP* Tech Support, my name is Isaiah, how may I help you?”

Caller – [a nice elderly woman] “My email isn’t coming through.”

Me – “I’m sorry about that, let’s see if we can get that fixed for you.  I see that you’re a dial-up customer.  I’m going to check your inbox and see if there’s a message that is to large to come through.”

Caller – “Um, ok.”

Me – “Well it appears that *some relative* has sent you an email that’s 4mb in size.  With your connection, that probably won’t be able to finish downloading.  Would you like me to show you how you can view it on webmail?”

Caller – [perturbed] “What do you mean it won’t be able to download?”

Me – “Your dial up connection won’t be able to download this message, it would take too long and the download would time out.”

Caller – “Well, why not?”

Me – “*relative name* sent you an email with, let me check, 10 pictures in it.  Your dial-up connection won’t be able to download that to your Outlook Express program.  You can view the pictures in our webmail, but that might also take some time.”

Caller – “Well, why is it so slow then?  [becoming quite angry now] And, and the Yahoo takes much longer to load now… I open it up and go make some coffee and its only halfway done!”

Me – “I’m sorry about that.”

Caller – [interrupting] “You’re making it slower aren’t you!”

Me – “Um… what?  No!”

Caller – “I see what it is, you’re all trying to get us to upgrade, so we pay you more!”

Me – “Ma’am, I believe that yahoo is taking longer to load because they’re now putting a lot more information on the front page, so it’s taking longer to download.”

Caller – “Well, why would they do that?”

Me – “More and more people don’t have dial-up and have a higher speed connecti-”

Caller – [interrupting] “And I used to be able to download pictures, why not now!?!”

Me – “I’m guessing that’s because *relative’s name* recently got a new camera and is sending pictures that are much larger.”

Caller – [thoughtfully, then angrily] “Well, they did get a new camera… but WHY is it slower!”

Me – “I’m not sure that it’s slower, I think-”

Caller [interrupting] – “It’s a conspiracy!  You want us all to switch to the High Speed!  You’re making everything slower for me!”

Me – “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we are not.  Technology is just growing quickly and there’s more informati-”

Caller [interrupting and very, very angry] “I’m sick of your excuses, I want the truth, you want us all to get high speed!”

Me – “Ma’am, if you would like to cancel your services, since you think we’re slowing you down, I can transfer you to someone right now to do that.  We’re not making your connection slower, in fact, I’m just trying to help you.  Now, would you like me to transfer you so that you can cancel your account.”

Caller – “Well, I don’t know… I, just, I’m… it’s… Why is it slower?  I don’t know, I’ll call back later, I have to go.”

Me – “Thank you for your time, I’m – [caller hangs up]”

Sigh.

Now that was a very interesting call. This poor lady had dial-up for several years, and technology kept moving faster, leaving her, and her connection behind.  I truly felt sorry, and tried to help, but she was very, very angry.

Have you ever had a conversation with a customer/friend/relative, where nothing you said could fix the issue?

In Christ,

Isaiah

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